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Anxiety Dreams

When I was young I had a recurring dream/nightmare. In the dream I would go swimming and when I tried to surface I would find that I was trapped under the water. I would wake with my heart pounding and breathing fast. As I got older the dream happened with less frequency but proved to have some lingering effects. To this day I can't deal with being held under water. Just the other day day I was swimming with my son and he was trying to push me under the water and I had a mini-freak out. I put the kibosh on that game from now until forever. These days I recognize that dream for what it was - an anxiety dream. The reason I stopped having the dream wasn't because I stopped experiencing anxiety (quite the opposite in fact). The dream hasn't stopped, it has just changed into different anxiety-inducing experiences, ones more apropos to my present-day life. Since becoming an adult the  anxiety dream I've had most frequently is one that I've found is very common among my fr...
Recent posts

The TBD Year

It's August 2021 and I'm knee deep in summer vacation. After a month of my boy being in summer camp, we are spending the rest of vacation at the beach...and loving every second of it. But, in the back of my mind, I am always thinking about the coming school year (which starts on my birthday no less). And now that it's August, the thoughts that were hanging out in the back of my mind have started to creep forward. I'm trying hard to enjoy what is left of the care free dog days of summer but the teacher part of my brain can't be quieted. So here I am at 10pm, in the bottom bunk of my son's bed, getting some of those thoughts down on virtual paper so maybe they will quiet the heck down! Here is where my brain jumble is right now as a neatly organized, bulleted list: I haven't stepped foot into a classroom since March 12, 2020 (except for two days in September when I wasn't sure if I would get a medical accommodation for the 2020-2021 school year). For the l...

Career Ready?

Where has all the vocational training gone? Years ago, teaching in the Bronx in a building that was built in the middle of last century, the school needed more classroom space. There was a large room available on the first floor. The only catch was that the available room was a shop room, complete with tools and kilns. Fast forward a few months and all shop equipment had been ripped out and it had become a standard classroom (in more recent years I think it has been turned into 2 classrooms). My current building is new and was built with an art room. No kilns, but work stations with vices and cabinets specialized for tools. It is being used as an english classroom. I would love to teach the science of cooking but there are no ovens anywhere in the building and no space or funding for them. There are absolutely no shop rooms in the building. In NYC, it seems shop class is dead and vocational schools are few and far between. For many years, the push in NYC schools and in much of the ...

Your Potential is Infinite

To my students, Life is all about choices. Who you are and will be has not been decided. YOU choose who you want to be. Yes, there are some things about you that you cannot change: your race, sex, sexuality. But there are so many things you can change. And if you don’t like them, change them. But keep in mind, being a complete person takes a life time. Don’t beat yourself up if you are not yet the person you want to be. Your journey has just begun. Who you are today is not who you will be a few years from now. You will change in countless ways.   And you can control the direction of those changes. When I was in middle school, I was shy and very awkward. I wasn’t cool at all . And sometimes that really sucked. I was sensitive, I cried a lot. I was overweight and had super frizzy hair, both of which were pointed out to me and thrown at me as weapons on a regular basis. I had friends but I was by no means popular. This continued for me through college. ...

Heartwarming Stories from the Trenches

I love teaching. Truly the most special part of teaching is the students. So, I thought I would share just a few of the many amazing moments I have had with students. Students like to share food with me. Several years ago, a very young colleague of mine passed away. The school community was devastated. Many of us, including staff and students, attended the funeral. At the funeral I got to talk to several students I rarely had the opportunity to chat with. While I was chatting with one that I had never taught, we somehow got on the subject of figs and how much we loved them. He mentioned that his grandparents had a fig tree and that season they had a lot of figs. He asked if I wanted some and I definitely did! So, the next day he shows up in my classroom with a big container of figs which took me about 2 periods to devour. At lunch he came back to eat a couple. Oops. They had been devoured hours before by this fig loving educator. He didn't have to share his grandparents preciuo...

Plan B (Paper Circuits)

This is the story of the best project I have ever done! I loved and the kids loved it. And it was the Plan B after I realized that Plan A wasn't going to happen. So, plan A. For the past several years I have taught circuits. I would always do the standard circuit building with circuit kits. Yipee. The kids liked it but I wanted to up the wow factor. So, I had the big idea that we would learn circuits in December and the kids would make light up holiday shirts! Brilliant! And , we would do a fashion show on the day before winter break. Amazing! I told everyone about it and everyone was super excited. Fast forward to November of this year when I started the nitty gritty of the planning...and figuring out what supplies I needed. And all my brilliant plans came to a screeching halt. This was going to be WAY too expensive and it was too late to fundraise. So, my co-teacher and I spent the next week desperately trying to come up with something circuits based that was fun, challenging...

For New (and Not so New) Teachers....

As I work my way through year number 15 of teaching, I feel like I have finally reached a place where I can impart some wisdom to the new teachers that are just trying to tread water until summer and hope they can make it to the next year. So, here it is. My words of wisdom. 1. It gets better. I cried most days my first year teaching. Some times I had someone cover my class so I could go in the hall and cry. On Fridays I taught 6 classes with a double period at the end of the day. Whenever I needed a mental health day, it was always on a Friday. When I didn't take a mental health day on Fridays, I would often take a nap in my car after I got home because I didn't have the stamina to walk to my house after my exhausting day. For several months in my second year I could never turn my back on one of my classes because whenever I did, shenanigans would ensue. I even got hit in the back of the head with a paper airplane (though they swore they weren't aiming for me). This ...